


Anxious

by awgaskarth0805



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25113502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awgaskarth0805/pseuds/awgaskarth0805
Summary: Alex has bad anxiety on the day of a show.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Anxious

Ever since Alex was a teenager, he’d struggled with anxiety. While he’d learned to manage it as he’d gotten older, it still snuck up on him sometimes, now that he was in his twenties. Some days were easier than others, and he did still get anxiety attacks sometimes, which he knew how to handle, but they were still inconvenient, especially when on the road.   
All Time Low were currently on tour, supporting Nothing Personal in the States. When Alex woke up one morning on the bus, he could tell that it would be a bad day for his anxiety. His mind was swimming with trivial thoughts that were moving at miles a minute, and he felt a feeling of fear that he knew was irrational and had no real cause.   
He hoped that by showtime, he’d feel more like himself, so he could really enjoy playing later. He also felt that when he was having a bad anxiety day, that he couldn’t really give the fans as great of a show, which made his anxiety worse. When he had days like this, it made him not want to do anything for as long as he could. Somedays, he refused to give into these thoughts, and on other days, he completely did. Today, he decided, that he would, and he’d stay in his bunk for a while longer.   
Part of him really wanted to talk to his bandmates about what was going on inside of his head, but part of him didn’t want to do this. They all knew about this, but it was still a hard topic for Alex to talk about with them, since none of them had these kinds of issues, and couldn’t really offer any solid advice.   
The person he usually went to with this was Jack since they were the closest out of the four of them, and Jack had been helping with this since they were in middle school, so he had a decent idea of how to help Alex through this. Despite this, Alex decided that the best thing he could do for himself would be to keep to himself for a bit.   
He watched a couple of movies on his laptop, totally undisturbed from his bandmates. As he was about to start a third movie, his privacy curtain was opened, and he saw Jack.  
“Hey man, it’s like, two in the afternoon, are you all good back here?” Jack asked, sitting on the floor by Alex’s bunk.  
“Yeah, just a bit sleepy. I wanted to rest up so I’ll have plenty of energy for the show tonight,” Alex replied, lying some. He hated not being totally honest about what was wrong with Jack, but he really didn’t want to get into everything with anyone right now.  
“Oh, okay dude, no problem. We’re going to be at the venue in about half an hour, so I just wanted to let you know so you have time to get ready and stuff,” Jack explained.  
“Thanks man, I’ll get up and get ready in a minute,” Alex replied with a small smile. Jack got up from Alex’s bed, and went back out to the front, leaving Alex by himself again. Despite his efforts over the last few hours to calm himself down some.   
He still felt very anxious, and he knew that getting this to go away before their show would be very hard. After ten more minutes of trying and failing to calm his mind, Alex got up and went to the bathroom. He took a fast shower and got himself ready to go in the venue.   
When he got up to the front of the bus, the rest of the band were all there, ready to head into the venue.  
“It feels like we haven’t seen you in forever!” Zack joked.  
“Yeah, I’ve just been a bit tired today, sorry about that,” Alex replied, hoping that his friends believed him.  
“No worries, dude, rest up if you need it,” Jack replied.  
“We’ve got to get to soundcheck,” Rian finally said, leading the four of them off of the bus. As soon as they got into the venue and started their soundcheck, Alex could feel his anxiety creeping back up on him. He made small mistakes throughout soundcheck, making him upset with himself.   
He was a perfectionist to a degree, and that paired with the anxiety was a terrible combination. These mistakes didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the band. Once they were finished with their soundcheck, they all met up in the middle of the stage.  
“Good job, guys. Were you okay, Alex? You seemed to have some trouble with the songs,” Rian observed.  
“I’m fine, just tired still,” Alex replied, not looking at his friends, out of embarrassment.  
“You’re still tired? Are you okay?” Jack asked, sounding concerned.  
“Yeah, I’m okay, I think I’m just going to go rest up in a green room until it’s time for us to go on,” Alex decided, quickly walking offstage.  
“Well, that was weird,” Zack pointed out.  
“For sure. What do you think is up with him?” Rian asked.  
“I think he’s feeling sick and doesn’t want us to know about it. Like, why else would he be so tired?” Jack explained.  
“That’s a good point, dude. Why do you think he won’t tell us, though?” Zack asked.  
“He probably doesn’t want us to be super concerned about him, or he thinks that he’s not as sick as he probably is,” Jack decided.  
“That makes sense, but I don’t think we should try to talk to him about it. I think we should let him be, at least for now. If he is sick, he should just rest up as much as he can. Let’s talk to him after our set, do you guys want to go out to get some food for now?” Rian suggested.  
“Sure, I just hope that he’ll be okay,” Jack replied.  
“He will be, don’t worry. Let’s go, we have to be mindful of time,” Zack explained. Jack followed his bandmates out to the street that the venue was on, hoping that his friend would be alright.  
\---------------------------  
Alex was both happy and upset that his band had left him to be by himself. He still didn’t want to talk about what was going on with him, but he felt like his band didn’t care, since they didn’t try to check on him. He knew he was just overthinking, but he couldn’t help it at this point. He had a minor anxiety attack while waiting for the show to start, since he’d been thinking about the show, and how he wouldn’t perform as well, since he was feeling this way.   
Eventually, he tried to calm himself down, which he succeeded in doing. Once there were only a few minutes left until they were due on, Alex got himself ready, and walked to the stage area. The other three were already out there, talking amongst themselves.  
“Hey man, are you feeling more rested now?” Jack asked.  
“Um, yeah, I feel more awake now. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me,” Alex quickly replied. Jack decided not to question his friend and further, not wanting to upset him.   
Seconds later, they all ran onstage, and began their set. For the most part, everything went fine for Alex. He made some small mistakes, but they were all so minor that the fans wouldn’t be able to tell.   
On their second to last song, Alex started to feel his head spiral again. he tried to push past them for the entire song, but they became unbearable. Once the song had ended, he quickly ran offstage, confusing his band. He handed his guitar o his tech, and their manger rushed over to him.  
“Alex, what’s wrong? Do you feel sick?” he asked, sitting Alex on a chair by the stage.  
“Anxiety attack,” Alex choked out, his breathing getting heavier.  
“Let’s get you calmed down, okay? Breathe slowly, and list five things that you can touch,” their manager started. As Alex calmed himself, the other three were told to improvise for the time being.  
“Okay guys, I guess Alex is getting sick back there or something. Until he maybe comes back out here, let’s do some covers!” Jack exclaimed.   
He did his best to mask his concerns for his friend but couldn’t help but wish that Alex had talked to them, so they could’ve come up with something to do in a situation like this. Since this didn’t happen, they all knew that they’d have to wing it.  
“None of us can sing, so why don’t we pick someone from the crowd to come up? Who knows Dammit by Blink?” Zack asked, earning screams from the crowd.  
“You, come on up!” Jack said, as the security guard brought a fan up onstage. As they played the song, Alex started to come down from his anxiety attack.  
“How’re you feeling, Alex?” their manager asked.  
“Better now, thanks,” Alex replied.  
“Did the rest of the band know that you were having problems with your anxiety today?” their manager continued.  
“No, I didn’t tell them, or anyone,” Alex admitted.  
“Well, I’d tell them after the show ends. Can you go back out and do Dear Maria?” their manager asked back.  
“Yeah, I think I can. I’ll go back on now, thanks again,” Alex said, getting up. He grabbed his guitar from his tech, then walked back onstage.  
“Hey guys, sorry about that, my brain decided to have an anxiety attack during that last song. I’m okay now, though!” Alex exclaimed. He could feel the looks of concern from his band, especially Jack, as they played their last song.   
Once they were done, they thanked the crowd and ran offstage, handing their instruments to their techs, before catching up with Alex.  
“Dude, you had an anxiety attack?” Rian asked, leading all of them to sit in some chairs off of the stage.  
“Yeah, I did, but I’m okay now,” Alex explained.  
“We all thought that you felt sick this entire day,” Zack stated.  
“Why didn’t you tell us you were feeling anxious today?” Jack added.  
“I’m sorry. I woke up this morning feeling like that for no reason, which is why I spent a lot of the day by myself. I guess all of the anxious thoughts added up, which caused the anxiety attack,” Alex explained.  
“We know that you hate talking about it, but please tell us next time, we would’ve helped you,” Rian replied.  
“Yeah dude, you’re my best friend. I don’t want to see you suffer, and neither do Rian and Zack. You can always talk to us, don’t leave yourself alone with your thoughts, you always spiral when you do that,” Jack explained.  
“I know, and I’m really sorry. Thank you, guys, for being the best friends every, and for being so kind to me when shit like this happens,” Alex replied.  
“Of course, dude,” Zack replied.  
“How’re you feeling now?” Rian asked.  
“Honestly, mentally drained,” Alex replied.  
“Why don’t we all go back to the bus and just chill? We can watch a movie!” Jack suggested.  
“I’d really like that. Thanks again, guys, you all are the best,” Alex replied. They all exchanged smiles, then went to their bus.   
They spent the evening in the back lounge, watching movies. Alex was glad to have friends who would always be there for him, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not posting for a month. I had a bit of a slump with writing, and honestly really needed a break. This is a fic I wrote last September that I never posted, but I've been working on some requests that I got a while ago, and plan on getting them up super soon! As always, please send in more requests if you have them, I'm very excited to start writing for you all again, and would love to work on more of your all's ideas. Again, I'm so sorry for that random, unplanned hiatus that I took, but I'm so excited to be back, and to write more fics for you all! Lots of love, Liv.


End file.
